Tool 19 · Phrase · Free
Explain Why You're Asking
Your child may hear your question as an accusation or an attempt to take over.
Try this
“I noticed the plan changed. I want to understand what help, if any, you need.”
How to use it
Start with the fact that brought you to the conversation, explain your purpose, then make a small invitation.
- Name the observation that prompted the conversation.
- Explain your reason in one sentence.
- Ask for their perspective without pretending a fixed boundary is negotiable.
- Listen before adding your proposed solution.
What it can sound like
These are illustrative examples. Adjust the words to your family and your child's needs.
“You stopped packing your bag. I want to check whether something is missing.”
“The deadline is close. I'm asking so we can work out whether you need practical help.”
Watch out for
Do not promise 'I won't judge' and then criticize the answer. Be honest about any necessary limit.
If it doesn't fit this moment
Clarify the scope: “I'm asking about the transport plan, not your private conversation.”
Free template
Fact, purpose, invitation
Use the prompts for your own preparation. Entries stay in this tab and are not saved or sent to BondSeed. Download your text before leaving the page.
Go a little deeper
Reference reading
These public references support relevant communication principles. They do not validate this tool as an assessment or a tested script.