Tool 15 · Checklist · Free
Listen: Three Checks, Three Moves
Your child is talking and you want to listen before offering advice.
Try this
Put aside the distraction, reflect one detail, and ask whether you understood.
How to use it
Check your attention, physical pace, and response. Then use a brief reflection, an optional question, and a check for understanding.
- Attention: listen to the words and notice the setting without assuming what a gesture means.
- Pace: give time for pauses; face them comfortably without requiring eye contact.
- Response: notice your own urge to fix or defend.
- Reflect one important detail.
- Ask one supportive question if it is welcome.
- Check: 'Did I get that right?'
What it can sound like
These are illustrative examples. Adjust the words to your family and your child's needs.
“You wanted a turn and it didn't happen. Did I understand?”
“You wanted advice about the plan, not a lecture about your friends. Is that right?”
Watch out for
Listening can happen side by side or with communication aids. Eye contact and fluent speech are not requirements.
If it doesn't fit this moment
Thank them for correcting your reflection and try again in fewer words.
Free template
A listening practice
Use the prompts for your own preparation. Entries stay in this tab and are not saved or sent to BondSeed. Download your text before leaving the page.
Go a little deeper
Reference reading
These public references support relevant communication principles. They do not validate this tool as an assessment or a tested script.