Tool 18 · Conversation · Free
Find the Right Starting Point
You want to help, but you and your child may be seeing different problems.
Try this
“What is the hardest part for you right now?”
How to use it
Five perspectives can help you choose support: your child's feeling, their understanding, your assumptions, other practical perspectives, and the direction they want to take.
- Ask about the experience or feeling.
- Check how your child understands the situation.
- Privately review whether your own assumptions still fit.
- Seek another useful perspective without sharing unnecessary private details.
- Agree on what the next step is meant to help with.
What it can sound like
These are illustrative examples. Adjust the words to your family and your child's needs.
“Is getting started hard, or is there a part you don't understand?”
“Are you hoping to change the situation, or do you mainly want someone to listen?”
Watch out for
Use only the questions the moment needs. Other families' choices are information, not a standard your child must meet.
If it doesn't fit this moment
Offer a narrower choice: “Would quiet company or help with the first step be useful?”
Free template
Find a useful starting point
Use the prompts for your own preparation. Entries stay in this tab and are not saved or sent to BondSeed. Download your text before leaving the page.
Go a little deeper
Reference reading
These public references support relevant communication principles. They do not validate this tool as an assessment or a tested script.