Tool 02 · Checklist · Free
Check Your Praise Intention
You are about to praise your child and want to check whether it is honest.
Try this
Ask yourself: “Am I noticing something real, or trying to get them to do what I want?”
How to use it
This is a check on your words and expectations, rather than a test of whether you are a good parent.
- Identify an action you genuinely appreciate.
- Remove comparisons with siblings, classmates, or your own expectations.
- Check that your affection does not depend on a grade or performance.
- Say the observation without expecting thanks or agreement.
| Check | Try instead |
|---|---|
| Am I comparing them? | Describe their own action. |
| Am I steering a choice? | State the request separately. |
| Am I expecting a reaction? | Let the comment stand on its own. |
What it can sound like
These are illustrative examples. Adjust the words to your family and your child's needs.
“You made space for your friend at the table.”
“I noticed you told me the plan had changed. I appreciated knowing.”
Watch out for
Do not invent praise to get compliance, such as 'You're so helpful' when you really mean 'Do this chore.' Make the request separately.
If it doesn't fit this moment
If you cannot find an honest observation, offer ordinary warmth and save the praise for another time.
Free template
Before I praise
Use the prompts for your own preparation. Entries stay in this tab and are not saved or sent to BondSeed. Download your text before leaving the page.
Go a little deeper
Reference reading
These public references support relevant communication principles. They do not validate this tool as an assessment or a tested script.