Parenting in the Age of AI: What Your Child Still Needs From You

Imagine you are trying to finish dinner while your child asks for another story. A toy that can tell one, answer questions, and keep the conversation going sounds useful. You need a break. Your child is interested. Neither of those things is surprising.

But as AI becomes more responsive, the decisions get harder. When is it helping your family? When is it taking the place of something your child still needs from another person?

In a University of Chicago interview about Human Raised, surgeon and pediatrician Dana Suskind argues for using technology to support caregivers and preserve human connection, especially in the early years.

That raises a practical question for families: what do we want to keep making room for, even when a machine can keep a child happily occupied?

What children get from everyday interaction

A young child points at a bird. You look, name it, and wait. They point again. You notice they are watching its wings, so you follow their interest. When it flies away, you respond to their disappointment.

The exchange changes because each of you responds to the other. Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child describes this kind of back-and-forth with a caring adult as “serve and return”, which supports early language, social, and emotional development.

As children grow, connection includes more of a shared history. You hear about an argument and remember that things have been difficult with this friend lately. You notice your child seems exhausted. You help them decide whether they need company, practical help, or someone at school to step in.

A chatbot can continue a conversation. Someone still has to notice the illness, arrange the appointment, or follow up when the problem has not gone away. Parents and other trusted caregivers carry that care across ordinary days, including the days when a child has little to say.

Enjoyment alone cannot tell you whether an AI product is helping. Look at what happens around it: is there still room for play, conversation, friendships, and doing things together?

You can misunderstand each other and still reconnect

Human attention is uneven. Your child brings you a drawing while you are dealing with a spill. They describe a difficult day, and you start offering solutions before they finish. An activity you thought they would love gets a flat no.

It can feel as though a patient chatbot has an advantage. But a relationship does not depend on getting every response right.

Psychologist Ed Tronick and colleagues have studied mismatches and repair in infant–caregiver exchanges. Their work describes how interactions move out of coordination and back again. Brief, repaired difficulties are different from prolonged or repeatedly unresponsive care. These studies concern human relationships; they do not establish the effects of today’s AI companions. Tronick and Beeghly’s discussion of the research helps explain how a caring relationship can include moments of getting out of step.

Consider an everyday example. Your child says, “They made plans without me.” You answer, “Then hang out with someone else.” They leave.

Later, you realize you brushed past what hurt. You can return: “I jumped straight to advice. I’m sorry. You wanted to be included.” Pause there. If they want to explain, listen. If they say, “Forget it,” you can leave the invitation open and change how you respond next time.

Experiences like this give a child room to discover that a misunderstanding can be corrected. Another person can have their own thoughts and needs, hear an objection, and adjust. Disappointment does not have to end the relationship.

This is no reason to create frustration deliberately or excuse shouting, humiliation, or ongoing neglect. Repair involves owning what happened and changing something. Your child does not owe you immediate forgiveness or another conversation.

If listening is the part you want to practice, start with one way to check your understanding.

What can go wrong when AI becomes a main source of comfort?

Looking up a fact together and turning to a chatbot for every difficult feeling are different uses. Pay attention to the role it is taking.

It can crowd out daily life. Late-night conversations may displace sleep, activities, or time with other people. There is also a concern that repeatedly retreating to an easy conversation could reduce opportunities to work through disagreement and repair with people. That is a risk to watch, not an inevitable outcome for every child.

Feeling understood can make advice seem more trustworthy than it is. A child may know a character is software and still feel attached. In a risk assessment involving Stanford researchers, tested companion chatbots produced inappropriate or harmful content involving sex, self-harm, and violence. A warm response does not make guidance safe. The research team explains these risks.

Private information and serious worries can stay inside the chat. A child might disclose identifying details or rely on a bot when they need help from a trusted adult or clinician. The American Academy of Pediatrics’ guidance on chatbots warns that conversations may not remain confidential and that chatbots cannot take responsibility for protecting children.

These concerns justify care. They do not establish that long-term use inevitably causes depression or social difficulties. Protect what is already important while the evidence develops: sleep, activity, supportive relationships, and access to help.

Three ways to keep AI in a supporting role

1. Let it reduce your workload while protecting time together

A shopping list, an activity idea, or a summary of nonprivate school information may save you effort. Check the result. Then decide whether the help actually leaves you with more room to rest or be with your child.

In her interview, Suskind urges particular caution about AI that interacts directly with children in the first three to five years. She is more supportive of technology that reduces caregivers’ administrative burden. Five is not a threshold after which a product becomes safe.

You might use AI to suggest a story, then tell it together and let your child change the ending. Or find a craft idea, close the app, and gather the materials. The shared activity continues beyond the device.

Look at your own interruptions too. If you say, “I’ll come over when I’ve finished this email,” return without making your child ask again.

Parents need work, rest, childcare, and other people’s help. An occasional busy moment with a device is not a verdict on your parenting. Notice whether it is gradually becoming the default response to boredom, distress, and requests for company.

2. Ask what it teaches about relationships

An educational label and a gentle voice leave important questions unanswered. Does the product make leaving easy? Does it imply that it needs your child? When your child is angry with someone, does it encourage perspective and appropriate help, or reinforce the idea that only the bot understands?

A product that acknowledges limits and directs children toward trusted people is preferable to one that pressures them to keep talking. Those features alone do not establish safety. Check age requirements, privacy practices, and independent assessments.

In its 2025 research on AI companions, Common Sense Media reiterated its recommendation that under-18s should not use these platforms. That recommendation concerns companion platforms, rather than treating every educational or creative AI use as equivalent.

For any age-appropriate use you allow, ask where it leads. Does a conversation about insects turn into looking under a leaf? Does a friendship discussion leave room to speak to someone who can help? The app should leave space for a life beyond the conversation.

3. Keep learning about your particular child

Suskind calls parents’ understanding of their children a “Parental GPS”. That does not make your first instinct infallible. Familiarity grows as you notice patterns, ask, get something wrong, and revise your understanding.

If your child suddenly refuses school, check what has happened and whether they feel unwell. A few sentences entered into a chatbot cannot establish that they are being manipulative or going through a phase. Do not bring a generated explanation to them as a settled verdict: “I know why you’re doing this.”

Use your observations alongside your child’s account and qualified advice when needed. Avoid uploading private messages, photographs, or health information to obtain a seemingly precise interpretation. Knowing your child includes being willing to learn that your explanation was wrong.

If your child is already relying on AI too much

An enthusiastic week with a new app does not diagnose addiction. More concerning signs include disruption to sleep, school, or relationships; repeated difficulty stopping; or significant distress when access ends. You can respond to those changes without first agreeing on a label.

Understand what makes it hard to leave

At a calm moment, describe the change: “You’ve been up chatting, and mornings have been rough. We need to work out what changes.” Then ask one question: “What makes it hard to stop?”

The answer might be a compelling story, relief from loneliness, or a place where they do not expect criticism. Do not assume heavy use proves a parenting failure or a lack of friends.

If they say, “It listens without lecturing,” consider whether there is something specific you need to change. You can improve your response while still restricting an unsuitable product.

Make the limit concrete and help with the transition

Act promptly on dangerous content or an age-inappropriate service. Explain the restriction; a clear risk does not need to continue while you wait for agreement.

For other uses you decide to allow, address the disruption: agree when use ends, which notifications go off, where the device stays, and when you will review the arrangement. The AAP’s media-use guidance recommends identifying what media has crowded out and planning how to restore it. These are starting points for family support, not a treatment for addiction. For help with the stopping point itself, see how to handle screen-time transitions.

Children ages 6–12 may need more adult management and help moving to the next activity. Teens ages 13–18 should have a real part in discussing arrangements; adults remain responsible for necessary protection. Preserve essential schoolwork, assistive communication, and contact with trusted people.

If your child feels attached to a character, do not ridicule the feeling. “I know you’ll miss it. We’re stopping this app, and I can stay with you for a while.” They do not have to dismiss the relationship as meaningless before you offer support.

Restore something they need beyond the app

Removing a phone and adding homework will not address loneliness. Offer something manageable: cooking together, seeing a familiar friend, returning to an interest, or spending time with a trusted adult.

If group activities feel overwhelming, begin with something alongside you at home. If bullying is driving withdrawal, adults need to address the harm. “Make more friends” is not enough.

Keep some shared time free of checks on grades and app use. Listen to a song they chose or let them show you something they made. They do not have to become cheerful or grateful to make the time worthwhile.

Review daily life and seek more help when needed

Look beyond the minutes recorded on a device. Is sleep improving? Is school manageable? Are they reconnecting with people? Has the difficulty that made the bot appealing received any help?

If the plan fails, find the obstacle before escalating consequences. If use remains difficult to control, significantly affects daily life, or accompanies persistent anxiety, low mood, or withdrawal, contact your child’s doctor or a qualified child mental health professional. The AAP recommends seeking help when a child withdraws and prefers chatbots to people. AI use and existing difficulties may affect each other; the app may not explain everything.

Self-harm, suicidal thoughts, exploitation, or dangerous instructions need prompt protection and appropriate professional help. For immediate danger, contact local emergency services. Do not wait for a family plan to work.

You do not need to arrange a deep conversation tonight. Respond to something your child brings you. Let them correct a misunderstanding. If you promised to come back, come back. These ordinary acts of care still need someone willing to follow through.